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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Is it part of aro culture to mistake anxiety for attraction? This is an honest question btw cause I get anxious and I feel the whole tightening in my chest thing and sort of fluttery feeling (I think it’s my body getting ready to run or freeze once things get bad) but like so many people describe romantic attraction that way that I just realized that that’s my anxiety because they feel the fucking same

advice please aro aromantic aro culture asexual ace aro/ace anyways I wish I didn’t react on this feeling
kirbys-air-ride
wheeloffortune-design

"you're not man enough, not feminine enough"

so gender is something we can fail?

that means gender is not genetic and absolute and unchangeable

but something we can build and perform, and fail at (the standards they set) but also redefine?

if i can fail at being a woman, does that mean i'm not a woman? so does that make me another gender?

wheeloffortune-design

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i agonized for 15 minutes about the wording of my post and you manage to simplify it with a perfect mean girls reference

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asynca
prokopetz

The really hilariously ill-conceived part of the Twitter rate limiting thing is that comments and retweets are the same kind of entity as tweets in the back-end database, they're just "parented" to whatever tweet they're commenting on or retweeting, and the rate limit they've placed on the API simply counts how many of those entities you've requested without checking a. whether they're the children of another entity or not, nor b. whether you've already seen that particular entity today.

Thus, the limit isn't really "600 tweets". A tweet, each comment on that tweet, and each retweet of that tweet all count against the limit as you view them. For example, if a quote-retweet crosses your dashboard, the quote-retweet itself and the little preview of what it's responding to that appears above it each count separately against the limit. Click into that quote-retweet to read the comments? They both get counted against your limit a second time, as does each individual comment you read – and heaven help you if any of those comments were themselves commented upon!

The upshot is that if your account isn't verified, using Twitter in the manner that its own monetisation model assumes – and, indeed demands – it will be used can easily exhaust your entire daily allocation of tweet views in as little as a couple dozen engagements.

bluedogxl

so that’s why i ran out in like two hours

prokopetz

If anything, two hours reflects a very restrained usage pattern. Owing to the way that tweet views are counted, somebody who's using the site the way its user experience "wants" it to be used might readily burn through their daily 600 views in five to ten minutes!

taavicleric

Wait, wait, wait, so, Twitter now works like those mobile games that give you free "lives" and once you're out, sorry! Wait til tomorrow... or pay!

prokopetz

It's a bit worse than that, because the verified limit is only 6000 views, and there's presently no way to increase it beyond that. That might feel like a big number, but for the reasons outlined above, even a paying user with an ideal usage pattern will be able to use site for perhaps 60 minutes a day before they get put on hold, too.

prismatic-bell
lgballt

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Are you sad that June is over and you don't have a pride month anymore? Fear not, friends! There's a different pride month just beginning!

lgballt

kickair8p

“Pls do not reblog anything with the old disability pride flag, it does cause seizure and migraines, please use the new one which was created by the same person with the feedbacks of many other disabled people.

This is the safe one:

a “Straight Diagonal” version of the Disability Pride Flag: A charcoal grey flag with a diagonal band from the top left to bottom right corner, made up of five parallel stripes in red, gold, pale grey, blue, and greenALT

Dont use the zigzag one, your making disabled space inaccessible for a part of the community.”

[Image description: a “Straight Diagonal” version of the Disability Pride Flag: A charcoal grey flag with a diagonal band from the top left to bottom right corner, made up of five parallel stripes in red, gold, pale grey, blue, and green Description ends]

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soemthingsparkly
joebidenfanclub

it seems so strange to me that the only people it is socially acceptable to live with (once you reach a certain stage in life) are sexual partners? like why can’t i live with my best friend? why can’t i raise a child with them? why do i need to have sex with someone in order to live with them? why do we put certain relationships on a pedestal? why don’t we value non-sexual relationships enough? why do life partners always have to be sexual partners?

greenjudy

My grandmother and grandfather more or less adopted my grandmother’s best friend back in the 50s. After my grandfather died (before I was born, back in 1968 or so) they continued to keep house together, platonic best friends, and they hung together until they died, a few months apart, in 2007.

It’s quite recently, as far as I can tell, that living arrangements like that have stopped being regarded as normal.

deathcomes4u

It’s absolutely a new thing to find this stuff weird, and it has a lot to do with media pretending that the nuclear family and marriage are the only reasons to live with other people.

I’ve lived in a 3 adult household my whole life. My parents and their best friend. This was never weird to me, even though everyone my age thought it was because the media never portrayed these kinds of housing arrangements. As far as i was concerned, I just had an extra non-blood parent.

According to my parents, it was very common in the 70′s-80′s to buy houses with your friends, because it was financially smart to do so (so long as you were certain they were close friends who wouldn’t fall out with you and fuck everything up). Houses and house payments are much more manageable when you split the bills 3-4 ways instead of just two.

Millenials aren’t the first to think it’s a great idea to just shack up with friends. That’s housemating without the hastle of living with strangers. It’s still a good idea to shack up with people you’ve known a long time so you know how you’ll get on living together, but still. In the current economy, it’s pretty much now our only option for affording anything.

I think, and I’m not researched on this, but I think conservatives probably tried to suppress images of non-nuclear families because they likely thought it would encourage ideas of polygamy, polyamory, open sexual relationships with or without marriage, as well as other relationship types they thought of as un-christian or unsavoury. I could be wrong, but that shit wouldn’t surprise me.

(And i want to make a note that there’s also a disturbing amount of asexual denial around that makes people go ‘if they’re living together they HAVE to be banging because why wouldn’t they?’ and that shit both creeps me out and annoys me no end. People can be in relationships without sex. People can live together without sex. Sex is not the be-all and end-all and people being taught to think it is really need to stop).

Don’t let the media fool you into believing you can only live with a sexual partner or blood family. Someone somewhere has an agenda for making these seem abnormal, when really it’s just practical.

curlicuecal

A lot of people acted like it was super weird when two of my brothers decided to move states with me when I started my postdoc. I got really used to giving a little canned speech about it because it seemed to bewilder people so much. (Their leases happened to be up! We could share rent! They wanted to try somewhere new!)

The notable exception was my grandma, who was just like, “oh, yes, when we were young my sister and I decided to move cross-country together and it was lovely.”

More of this kind of thing for everyone, pls.

magickedteacup

The implication that close sibling relationships must also be a warning sign for incest also peeves me off; what kind of society are we living in anyway

ineptshieldmaid

#my mom’s a historian#does a lot of research#one of the main takeaways from the census data of literally every US census since the beginning#is that the nuclear family has never been the actual norm#nobody really ever lived like that#and a lot don’t now#and it’s clearly artificial and not ideal for most people#every household in the census had at least a grandma#usually a cousin#some rando#someone living in the house who wasn’t mom or dad or kid#always someone#usually several someones#some uncles etc.#unmarried aunties#that sort of person#but often unrelated friends#we’ve never really lived alone#that’s not how families work#that’s not how humans work  

tags by @bomberqueen17

solarcat

Having a multi-adult household unit also just makes a shit-ton of sense, tbh. Much easier to split not only the bills, but also the housework and child-rearing responsibilities. Communal living ftw.

drtanner-sfw

It’s also super a capitalism thing.

With only two working-age people in the house, it’s very difficult to make ends meet without one of them (or increasingly, these days, both of them) working away the vast majority of their waking hours to earn enough money to support the household. The other person, if they aren’t also working similar hours, is there to support that working person, full time, with unpaid labour.

The end result of this is that nobody has any time or energy to spend together properly, and they just end up tired and miserable and shackled to their work, throwing money at their problems because it’s all they can do. It’s very easy to convince tired, miserable people to spend their money in the ways you want them to, and it’s also very easy to manipulate and oppress people who don’t have the energy or the means to fight for their rights. Convince a whole nation that this is the way the world is supposed to work, and you’ll be well away.

Death to the cancerous myth of the nuclear family.

yardsards

this is exactly the type of thing us aros and aces are referring to when we talk about amatonormativity

darkfrog24

Genuinely asking: Could this be less about media and more about property laws in some way? (Most of those honky-dory sitcoms did have another adult in there somewhere: Joey on Full House jumps to mind.) Was there a change in shared tenancy or inheritance with rights of survivorship that made it harder for unrelated, non-married adults to just maintain the same household? I heard some states had laws prohibiting or penalizing opposite-sex cohabitation.